Some thoughts for monday.

I have to wonder sometimes how people can be so ignorant and bigoted in their daily life. It makes me wonder if they are just miserable and have to find some way to make some else feel worse than they do. For example, I have a sister in-law that happens to have seen me many times in the house as Michelle (for the ones who are new to this blog, I’m not fulltime yet). Any every time she has made some rude comment or gesture toward me. One evening a few months back I happen to be watching Sex Change Hospital and enjoying my quite time when she came in from work. As soon as she realized what I was watching, she remained in the kitchen and made very rude comments toward the patients and Dr. Bowers. She even laughed at a patient as she described the pain and heartache she has been through in her life dealing with being a transsexual. She then began to sing above the volume of the TV some type of prayer hem. So I turned the volume up so that I could hear the TV. I’ll just say, it is not very pleasant when she is around. Know my other sister in-laws have treated me with at least respect since my wife and I got back together over a year ago, although they have not really seen me in person as Michelle. In the future that might change, I don’t know. To be fair, my niece told me one time that she was just not happy with the way that my wife and I separated a few years ago. But the way she has treated me has gone a LOT deeper than just that. Even my wife is tired of it. She stood up to her for the first time, a few month ago and reassured her that she was happy and has moved on. She also told her to leave if she can’t deal with it. For me, this was a defining moment for her. She is a quite person (as I am) and not crazy about conflict, and for her to stand up to her sister showed me the love that she has for me. It also gave me hope that our marriage will survive my transition.

I have been lucky that my brothers and mother (before she passed) was accepting, but I also feel for the many other brothers and sisters out there that are not so lucky to have a supportive family, The ones that would rather write off their family members, just because they are TLGB. Rather than deal with their prejudices and fears, they are willing to lose a precious part of their family. Yes precious! It saddens me deeply that people are so scared of what they don’t understand; they would throw out a member of their own family like a bag of garbage. To them, I’d say that they should look at themselves and take a very close look at why they are so shallow to allow society to dictate how you live your life. We see so much of this shallowness in the debate against gender identity and same gender marriage. The definition of marriage can’t change, because it tradition they’ll say. Just because it’s a tradition does not make it right. This country used to have a tradition called slavery. Was it right and just? NO! Things and attitudes change, and they are still changing. My hope is that things will change for the better for everyone within the TLGB community in the near future. There is so much false information out there that we need to stand firm and correct that information when we see it. If we don’t, who will? We all need to stand up and voice our opinions, if we don’t, then they win. And for the sake of our brothers and sisters, we can’t afford that to happen anymore.

Another false accusation against our community is that, if transgender people are allowed to use the restroom of there chosen gender. We will rape there women and children. Yet 99% (if not 100%) of all rapes of children and done by heterosexuals. Please explain this to me. I have NEVER heard or seen any valid story of a transgender person taking advantage of a women or child in the restroom. Darn, all we want to do is pee, is that so wrong. It’s as if they would rather shift the blame to someone else and ignore where the real problem is. They are more than happy to spread false rumors and outright lies to see their views passed as law. I’ve seen so many examples of this in the last 10 years it just makes me sick. I pray every day that people will see through all the lies and that one day we all can live in peace with one another. Is that such a bad thing to pray for?

Update with me and other news

It’s been a at least a month since I last wrote anything and I just wanted to write out a few things. I feel I just need to vent some and just get it out of my system. Before I go into that I just wanted to bring up a few things that are happening in the T-community:

Today the U.S. House has passed H.R. 1913, the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act. This bill added gender identity, actual or perceived sexual orientation, gender, and disability. It now has to go through the Senate. We will see what happens while its there. President Obama has pledged to sign the bill into law once it get through congress. It’s about time! Now if we can only get the inclusive ENDA bill through, we’ll at least have the protections that we have long been waiting for.

I feel I need to mention another trial that is coming up very soon. I REALLY hope that the media will give this trial the amount of space as Angie Zapata. Dwight DeLee has been charged with second-degree murder and third-degree criminal possession of a weapon in the November 14, 2008 in the killing of Lateisha Green. She was outside of a house party when DeLee came out to the car, had a few words, went back into his house and came out with a 22 caliber rifle and shot her and her brother. Her brother was able to drive away, but Lateisha died before getting any medical help. Early this month the District Attorney added hate crime charges. I bring this case up, because what I have seen from the Syracuse media has really disgusted me to no end. In most, if not all of the new reports that I have seen so far, the media refuses to use proper pronouns, they are referring to her as a gay man when the family has stated she identified as transgender. The trial is set to start June 11. We ALL need to do something to get the media reporting this properly. Selective jurors could be negatively affected by the improper media coverage and as we have seen in the Allen Andrade murder trial, it can make all the difference. Check out TransGriot for more info. Monica, you ROCK!

Now onto some personal things that’s going on in my life. The last couple of months have seemed to be the most stressful time in the last year. A few months ago I learned that the company I work for is replacing one of the major programs I wrote with a retail program (customized for our company). My first thoughts was I’m out the door for sure, because I spent about a month not having any real work related programming to do. In the last 2 weeks my feeling have changed a bit on that issue, in that they have sent me along with managers for training on the system. I’m hoping that is a good sign. I’m also hoping that my role as a programmer does not change. It seems that in sending me for training I may become the administrator of the system (really won’t be that bad) which would be a change in roles but I think I may be able to live with that. With the way the economy is doing lately I feel lucky to be out to many in the company(not full time yet, in case new readers didn’t know) and still have a job. I also did recently get a new little project to do, but eventually that project will be rolled over into the new software. Who knows what’s going to happen.

One other major stress in my life write now is the amount of hair I have lost in the last 2 to 3 weeks. About two months ago my scalp started to itch some and got a little dry. Well in the beginning of April it got worse and I noticed my scalp began to turn red. I began to use head and shoulders thinking it would help relieve the dryness and itchiness some. Well that didn’t work, if nothing else it made it worse. 2 ½ weeks ago started to noticed a lot more hair left behind in my brush after washing my hair and drying it. Well, today I have a patch/path from my right temple (2 to 2 ½ in wide) going back to the crown of my head that has thinned out so much it almost looks like I’m bald (I feel like crying right now). I went to my primary doc and she gave me a referral to a dermatologist. I had an appointment for tomorrow the dermatologist I made last week, but because of this MANDATORY training, I had to cancel and reschedule the appointment. What’s worse is that I now have to wait tell May 11 for the next appointment, UGGGGGG. My primary thought maybe it was a fungal infection, or maybe psoriasis. Naturally after I got home I did goggled psoriasis and it seems to fit all the symptoms I’ve had in the last few weeks. My wife got some medication for me that seemed to have eased the major discomfort I’ve been feeling on my scalp but I’m still losing hair which has put a damper on my emotions lately. I’ve waited so patiently the last 1 ½ to let me hair grow out only for it to start falling out. One thing I’m not clear about yet, is if the hair will grow back or not. It’s as if I’ve been on chemo I’m trying to hang in there but it’s getting more depressing very time I wash my hair. I guess I’ll have to see what the doctor says in two (more) weeks.

I have a few other stress’s going on but prefer not to share those things quit yet, maybe never. I’ll have to see. Anyways, life at home has been going well with the family. Last week was my birthday so my wife and daughter and I went to visit my son at school and we went out to lunch/diner at a great place called Bobby Q’s in New Haven, CT. They have some great BBQ there by the way. I’ll be happy to go there again the next time we have a chance too. It was a nice weekend spent with the family, and no cooking on top of that, lol.
Well, that it for now. BTW, if anyone has any tips on psoriasis, PLEASE let me know.
Take care everyone.
Hugs Michelle