A new dedication. To my Father : August 24, 2008

This is a dedication to my Father how passed away Saturday , August 6, 2008. My father was a strong man. He was also strong willed. If he thought he had a better idea he would push his idea to the front. A person how didn’t take anything from anyone. He appeared tough on the outside but what most people never saw was his softer side. I was blessed by seeing a few of them myself. As I sat with my two brothers and a few other family members. We choose to do a round table discussion of my father’s life, instead of a traditional funeral service with a pastor and all. After all, my father was not much of a traditional man. I have always admired how my father made it as good as he did with just a 10^th grade high school education, he didn’t complete school. He started out with not much of a chance, and worked his way into management at a pizza place. That wasn’t good enough for him, so one day he bought a pizza franchise and we all moved to Utah. Through much sacrifice he made it a good business.

The night before I left Kentucky I had been going through a whole bunch of stories that he wrote. Many use our family as the characters. He always talked about what he would do if he won the Mega Million dollar jackpot. He always told us how he would split up the money and make sure everyone, including grandkids would be taken care of. He would carry on about what car he would get for each of his kids. What house to buy and where he thought it should be. He always talked about that since I was a teen ager. More after he lost the Pizza Hut business after the divorce. What’s my point? Well, he always loved westerns and I thought he would have been writing along toughs lines, but boy was I wrong. i have gone through a pile (at least 98 percent where stories about winning the lottery). They said he wrote a lot the last few weeks. I guess he was trying to get it right, because I've looked at least 50 or more versions of winning the lottery. In a way, I was hoping he would write each of us a note. But I guess he had other things on his mind, lol. I think it kept his mind going. He even had pages that showed the break down by person, or charity, or whatever other entity he decided to give money to.

The day of the service we had a viewing (Picture only, and urn). Instead of the normal service where we stand in front and say something, We gathered our self’s around a couch that I was setting at. We proceeded to tell stories of my father. The good and the bad. The thing that my brothers and I all recalled the most was the long drives he always took us on. And when he got to Utah with all the hills and mountains he decided to purchase a 4x4. Well, it didn’t take long before he was taking us out 4 wheeling in the mountains. Not good for me because I always got car sick once we got off road. Once we stopped and had to sit in one place for a few minutes I was fine and we would hike around some. There were many evenings we went deer hunting. No, not with guns. We would stop at a field we often went to and would use a spot light and shine it in the field and try and could how many deer where in the field. We’ve counted about 120 or so one evening. We could only count the deer that would look at us, because then we could see the glow of their eyes. A little eerie sometimes, but it was something he always enjoyed doing. It also gave us some time with my father. He worked so much, we hardly saw him, so when he would take these breaks we all enjoyed them most of the time.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how my father ran his life, and I think I could learn a few things. I seem to be letting my fear of others stall me in my transition, and I need to change that. My father would have stepped up and did his way. I will do some things different, but thank you dad for being a inspiration., and providing your own insight to life. I will be taking more of a active role in my transition now. Thanks again dad.

I would like to take the time to direct your attention to my brothers site. He is a vet suffering from PTSD. In his blog he discusses issues related to PTSD. He wrote a piece on our father and thought you may enjoy reading his writing. Enjoy PTSD, A Soldier's Perspective